|Qujing's premier tourist attraction|
The first night we were in Qujing,
we were told the cave they wanted us to
explore was flooded (bummer) and there were no other caves nearby
(further bummer), but would we like to see some pictures of the entrance?
After feeding us lots of nice lamb and good beer an english-teacher turned
tourism official took us to his office and whipped out a few photos, and
asked us "What do you think of when you see this picture?" with this
really expectant look on his face. Hils
and I were like, "Uh, it
looks like a classic blind-valley horizontal entrance, er, about 80m high?
Quite narrow? Reminds me of every other horizontal entrance I've seen in
China. Uh, what do you want us to say?" Clearly disappointed and acting
like we'd missed the most obvious feature, he said, "Don't you think this
looks like the female sexual organ?" Er, well, maybe if you squint a
bit... Anyway, it wouldn't have been my first guess. This guy went on to
explain how it was going to make an amazing tourist trap. There was a
nearby phallic mountain, and he and his buddies were busily making up a
"local legend" about a goddess, or a pair of lovers in times of yore, or
something along those lines. Hils and I nearly wet ourselves.
We'd gotten completely soused at dinner, and Liu Hong was in an even worse
state. In Shilin he'd been bringing take-away to our campsite every day,
and over dinner he apologized because one day he'd had a particular
delicacy at lunch and hadn't brought any for us. Pig's penis is
apparently good for, um, "endurance" I think was the word he used, if
you're male, but doesn't do much for us double-Xers.
Then he turned to Hils and said, "But, I know you like the
penis". So Hils' expedition nickname should be "Likes the Penis", but she
wouldn't let me put that on the website... Anyway, there we were in the
office with this english teacher whose vocabulary was clearly inferior to Liu
Hong's, and he was going on about
Vagina Cave, and Liu Hong was standing
in the background wiggling his eyebrows, saying "You like this cave, you
like the penis?" and it all just went downhill from there.